Catch-22

It’s Saturday and I’ve done nothing; likewise, tomorrow I’ll probably do nothing. By “nothing”, I don’t just mean tasks that I have to do, but also activities that I would like to do.

Sometimes, it feels like I’m in a sleep paralysis, begging myself to wake up, move, and grab the paper and pen, for fuck’s sake. It’s disheartening to know that the only action that I can consistently do is to scroll. And it is especially stressful because I know how this passivity can influence my mental health and my future; my assignments, my studies, this website, and even that movie I’ve been planning to watch since two weeks ago need me. But I simply don’t have enough energy.

The worst part is that it’s a catch-22: I need to motivate myself to solve my motivation issues. Funny, isn’t it?

And no, lowering my expectations won’t work.